Hot Off the Press

ah the brink of insanity

Levi — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:48:36 +0000

I aint doing this for the people, I aint doing this for those I love

I aint on this earth cause of the devil and I aint sent here from above

All I know is I don’t got a beat, I have no rhythm I have no groove

I’m just dropping words, dropping these lines just to watch you move

I aint spitting fire and I aint dissing the streets

I got nothing but respect for you who came before my beat

I want to speak my mind, bust a rhyme, let you know who i am

For the name is axel and nobody know me like i know me so why the FUCK should i give a damn

Lets all cause a little friktion, lets all cause some minor commotion lets all pound down on the pavement till we cause some more emotion;

from the people buying drugs and the people giving sentences we aint got a whole lot left before we break down in some decedance;

I aint from the hood, and im not one thats down with the ghettos, i aint never been to prison and i aint been knocked to my elbows;

i dont spend time on my knees prayering’s just a stallment, cause when the justice day arrives, i’ll still be blamed for my involvment.

Fuck what you think of me, fuck when you say where i’ve been, cause aint nobody know where i’m going till them knights come back round again. I aint that g that you all seem to look for in cause i never slapped a ho nor given an abortion in the back of a van or moving car i aint that kind of star that you must be looking for but i got something to show, got something as proof a badge of justice or just an idiot to boot cause there is one thing i dont give a shit about one thing that wont keep me up at night and thats death because i aint scared of that fight he can take me now or let me live to a hundred but i dont give a shit cause i can just paint that gun red smear that lipstick all on myself and blast my own lyrics upon the bookshelf.

These are just words on paper, they got no beat, i got no skill i have no musical teat to suck on or fuck on to get my words heard its absurd i’d sell my soul to dre and move straight into compton and with the remaining NWA, teabag cops with al sharpton my lyrics are just clueless, my message is fuck muddled i sound like the dictionary and adolf just cuddled but what the fuck should i care about that for if this shit drops hot in the record store you’ll shit your britches like my fucking cock just walked right through that door

blame music, blame rap, blame the parents, blame gats just whatever holy hell you decided to offend, dont blame the kids, they’re just too young to defend themselves the little fuckups need to be locked up we got the schools, we got the books, but these kids aint nothing but little crooks running around trying to start something, go fuck a slut still in the first stage with her training wheels stuck on

Fooling Around

Levi — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:01:11 +0000

Laying upon a cold brick altar, I feel my legs beneath me falter.

Feeling stiff within my chest, I know soon, soon, I will rest.

Yet she beats on in stubborn woe. Squeezed by the writings of Frost and Poe.

She beats. She pulses. She mocks! Untouched by the dousing of hemlock.

I lay here suffering, suffering in my wrath. In my pain.

She is in command, she makes me obey.

The grip, tightly held, is not in vain.

I cannot catch my breath, cannot ignore my fae.

I feel as Jason, pursuiting the fleece.

But I have no argonauts, they all rest in peace.

She took it, she steals everything from me.

I cannot die as long as she holds it dear,

My fate, my death, the end. She bears the key.

I wish I could just drift off; the void it peers,

into my void, it doesn’t seem to believe.

But yes, my old friend. Yes. I dare not decieve.

You have found a hole much deeper and darker than any recess

The great hollow in my chest is more death than you can possess.

I warn you now, child. You should run, hide, perhaps confess.

For the chill death feels on it’s arm is MY caress.

You took it out from within my chasis.

You wonder why evil has become my basis.

Well listen, hunny, listen close my girl.

The hollow you caused will make you curl.

You best unhand Her. My thumping fist.

Because nobody.

Not Frost.

Not even Poe.

Has seen MY dreariness.♦

Warm-Up

Levi — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 03:24:49 +0000

For every man who ever lived

naught, but one thing, tempted him

to give.

His fortune, his pride, his fame

These meant nothing to him;

just a name.

Only one could cause misery most dear

could crush the soul or lift from fear.

Only one could defy the bounds of love

or shatter the world with word above.

No amount of lame poetry or prose in sight,

could ever accomplish the one’s delight.

This is just but a test.

For soon. Soon. I shall be laid to rest.

Shudder (cont)

Levi — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:26:42 +0000

He was driving around in his car. Although he was driving on a major highway, he was all alone. He wasn’t alone on the road, but he was alone. The road was littered with wrecked cars. The cars were all abandoned. Every few miles he could see a smear of blood as somebody was dragged away. By them. He didn’t care. He just knew that he had to get home, he had to get back to his wife. So onward he drove, he drove for as long as his car could. Yet the more he drove the more the empty cars started to change. Their separate colors began to bleed together. They continued to blur until nothing was left but a deep black. The cars resembled splotches of blood that have been given too much time out in the open. Then they started to move. Slowly at first, but eventually he could see the legs underneath. Six legs per car, lifting them and carrying them. The headlights began to change shape, turning oval and moving out of place. He tried to ignore them, but he felt as if he was being glared at by the wreckage, mad that his car was working. Casually he drove on, slowly creeping forward. He felt as a stranger would inside a colony where he doesn’t belong. The scurry noises drew his attention. He looked and realized with dread that he was no longer around wreckage. He was on a road with swarms of giant black insects. He hadn’t seen any insect like them before, but they appeared to resemble the scarabs that he has seen in movies. Except scarabs are small. Scarabs were not the size of cars. And scarabs could not look at you with giant yellow dinner plate eyes. Eyes that looked equal parts scared and equal parts angry. Suddenly he wasn’t driving on the highway anymore. He was walking on a dirt road. Behind every step he took, little black larvae appeared to crawl out of the ground. He wanted to bend over and look at them, they looked like nothing he has seen before. However he knew that he had to keep going. He knew that he couldn’t stop. He knew that if he stopped to look at them, it would mean more time lost from his wife. He had to make sure that she was alright, that she was alive. It dawned on him that she was supposed to go to the park today. Had she gone? If she had gone she would have stepped onto the grass. The grass that spawned little black larvae. Little black larvae that were the young of big black scarabs. Big black scarabs that would defend their young, violently.

Shudder

Levi — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 21:01:45 +0000

Just a little something I’ve been toying with. More to come when I have the time I hope.

Adam wavered. He did not want to go inside. But he knew that without a little bit of sacrifice there was nothing to gain. You can’t win if you don’t put in ol’ boy. Why do people think making this thing out of glass is a good idea, he mused to himself. Without further hesitation and deliberation, he sluggishly pushed the bucket into the empty elevator and pressed the only button that seemed out of place, he pressed PH. The elevator rocketed skyward without any wasted time, and although he heard the beeping of the floors as they passed, Adam did not open his eyes to look out the back. Perhaps if he had, he would have forgotten about his claustrophobia, he would have been too spellbound to save his own life.

When We Two Parted

Levi — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 05:55:45 +0000

Let me start by expressing my deepest thoughts on the subject of my voracity, which will never (ever) be for sale.

“The thing I treasure most in life

Cannot be taken away

There will never be a reason why

I will surrender to your advice

To change myself, I’d rather die

No they will not understand

I will make the greatest sacrifice

You can’t predict where the outcome lies

You’ll never take me alive.”

Disturbed – I’m Alive

Maybe if I copy enough of this stuff down, one day I’ll be able to write as well as them. They say that if you can write poetry, everything else is simple. Maybe if I throw myself into the deep end, I will see that there is in fact something deeper than the shallow side. Spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings my ass.

When we two parted

When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew they cheek and cold,

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow-

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o’er me-

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met-

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears.

Lord Byron

Annabel Lee

Levi — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:50:17 +0000

I hate poetry, but this is by far my favorite poem. This is the last poem the author wrote before his death.

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of ANNABEL LEE;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Then to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea;

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,

In the sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

-Edgar Allan Poe 1849

The Wake-Up

Levi — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:59:29 +0000

Here we find the protagonist waking up from his car accident. Of what I’ve written, this is my second favorite section; following the car accident portion. It doesn’t feel dead on yet though, so I am still going through some revisions when I get time. Enjoy!

Please Jon wake up. Please wake up. Don’t leave me Jon-Jon. Please.

Jon awoke with a shriek building in his throat. Quickly clamping down to avoid any noise, he looked around the room to see where the speaker was. He was in a surprisingly brightly lit room. There was a lot of whirring and beeping around him and suddenly it dawned on him that he was restrained to a hospital bed. He had no memory of how or why he was there, yet he felt calm and relaxed.

“Oh you’re awake? Are you okay? I’ll go get a doctor.”

Jon did not know who was talking, but he was sure it was girl. She had walked out of the room before Jon could put a face to the words. With both wrists cuffed to the bed he could not sit up to look around. He lay back down and closed his eyes. His left eye seemed to be moving a little more sluggish then his right.

“Jon, I’m Doctor Cartwright. How are you feeling this morning.”

“Why is my left eye moving so slowly?”

“You suffered swelling to the right optical cortex of your brain. We gave you some medicine that should reduce the swelling and restore function. You’re lucky that you can even remember your name son.”

“Who’s she?” Jon nodded toward the small red-headed girl standing shyly behind the doctor. Suddenly, all of his memories of the party and the car crash flooded back.

“Well, it appears she is the one who saved your life. Do you remember what happened?”

“No.”

“We suspected some short term memory damage; you might find yourself missing recent parts of your life. With a little bit of luck they will come back.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well I need to go check on other patients; I’ll let you two get acquainted.”

“Think you can uncuff me doc?”

“Oh sorry, I’ll call the policeman back. He should be here in thirty or so minutes. We didn’t expect you to wake up so soon.”

Jon watched out of the corner of his eye as the doctor walked out the room. He asked the girl to close the door and turn the lights off, it was too bright. She seemed hesitant at first and did not close the door completely, but at least she turned the lights off. So she is the one who saved my life huh?

“Do you remember me?”

Jon forgot that she was still there. He turned to look at her. Even in the dark he could see her blush sheepishly.

“Yeah. You gave my CPR.”

“So you remember it then? What else do you remember?”

“Everything.” He looked back at the ceiling.

“Do… do you remember what you said to me?”

Jon looked back at her. She blushed uncontrollably again.

“Yeah. Sorry about me saying I loved you. You just reminded me of someone. Someone long gone.”

“It’s okay I guess. I never had anyone touch me as sincerely as you did.”

Neither spoke for a several minutes.

“I also heard the other thing you said.”

“Ignore it, doesn’t mean anything.”

“ ‘It’s not over yet.’”

“I said ignore it. It doesn’t mean anything.” Jon felt his blood heat up. He did not mean to use such a sharp tone with her. He winced as he looked at her. She seemed to be holding back tears.

“I’m sorry.”

She didn’t reply. They sat in silence until the policeman came and uncuffed Jon from the hospital bed.

“You’re a lucky man, son. She visited you every day the whole month you were under. Only visitor you had at that. Girls like that don’t come around often.”

“She is not my girlfriend.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed…”

The policeman seemed confused but dropped the topic. He seemed to be in rush anyway. It seemed like everybody was in a hurry, except for this girl. She just sat in the chair and tried not to fidget nervously.

“What’s your name?”

“Why do you care?”

“I thought I should know the name of my hero. You did save my life after all.”

“It’s Rebbecca, and I don’t need any of your sarcasm okay?”

“Sure Rebbecca, but why are you here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well feel free to leave.”

Jon rubbed his sore wrists. The handcuffs had left marks in his flesh. Damn she’s weird. Jon looked over at her, but she was looking at the ground fiddling with her necklace. What’s her problem?

“What’s…”

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

“What?”

“You were handcuffed because the police said you were a suicide risk. I didn’t tell them what you did in the ambulance and neither did my boss. But…”

“I didn’t try to kill myself. I still have a lot to do.”

“Ok.”

Jon wanted to drift back into sleep. Although according to the policeman he had been asleep for a month. He just wanted to be by himself with his own thoughts. He did not notice Rebecca’s quit sobbing. He was thinking about the party. Somewhere a machine beeped. He saw the delight in her blue eyes, the sly smile on her lips. The beeping sped up. He saw himself driving his car, red-faced, blind with rage. He saw him confront her. He saw him hitting her. Hitting her harder and harder for every time she treated him like shit.

Somewhere an alarm went off.

He saw himself hitting her for every time she lied to him. He saw himself hitting her for every time she ignored him. He saw himself returning her emotional treatment of him physically. His jaw locked down and his eyes burned, he wanted to scream but couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything but grip the bed frame. A nurse rushed into the room, out of breath.

“Call a code! His heart rate is at 180 and rising rapidly. 190. 210. What the hell is going on? Get a crash cart, charge the AED. Someone get her out of here.”

Somewhere a doctor was rushing to an emergency.

Oh yes, it is not over yet. There is still so much to do. So much work to be done; so much justice, so much revenge.

Somewhere a machine was beeping uncontrollably.

“Nurse, sedate him quickly. Before his heart explodes in his chest.”

Jon snapped back into reality and looked around bewildered. He saw a nurse scavenging desperately for something. He felt fire sparks flying off the anvil in his chest and he tried to take a few deep breaths, tried to calm himself down.

“What the hell?”

“How did his heart rate return to normal so fast?”

“Was it the sedative?”

“I didn’t inject it yet!”

Jon drifted off into sleep.

Ode to an Olive Tree

Levi — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:38:21 +0000

Go ahead and make fun of poetry. I just like to rhyme. I do it every time. Can’t you see? There’s no stopping me. I must confess, it’s still a work in progress.

There a watchdog lays in wait,

Snarling at the hands of fate.

Bark is tough and hard as stone,

Black roots deep as caverns grown.

In the orchard there he’ll sleep.

Watching waiting five more leap-

years that he lays dormant still,

‘Fore he obeys master’s will.

Faithful- he will guard all night

To stave off hunger’s wicked sight.

Trunk as thick and strong as clubs,

yet he’s shorter then the shrubs.

Accident

Levi — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:08:13 +0000

The Accident portion of the story. Currently this is also my favorite part of the story that I have written as of now. I really feel like I connected with the character. Enjoy!

How could she do that to me?! I do not deserve that kind of treatment. FUCK HER! Jon slammed his foot down on the gas peddle even harder. He was now breaking 70 miles per hour on his Honda which needed its brakes replaced. He was trying to clear his head, that’s why he had the music deafening and all the windows down, but he was failing. He could not get her eyes out of his head. He could not erase the look of… of… he did not know what the look was. It was amusement. Goddamn it all, she was amused at the situation. It was pure enjoyment. Jon winced in pain as the realization dawned on him. He should have known that she hated him. He should have realized that there was nothing but abuse and hate in her tone of voice for him. His eyes, blinded by the tears now freely rolling down his cheeks, did not see the approaching curve in the road. He only realized it too late as he swerved his car and slammed down on the brakes. The screech of the tires was drowned out by the sound of the car flipping over. Silently, Jon saw the anger in his face in the rear view mirror as the car came to a stop upside down. Feeling nothing but the throbbing anger in his head, Jon did not move. He sat perfectly still until finally passing out.

He heard noises but he could not focus onto them. OH MY GOD! Are you alright? Hello? 911? Theres has been a car accident on Flowing Orchard Street, send an ambulance quick! Jon tried to move his head but it was too heavy. Something was grabbing at his arm and shoulders and tugging him forward, but he still had his seatbelt on. He tried to tell them but he was unable to muster the strength. There was something wet and cold dripping down his legs and he could not feel anything below his ankles. All he could feel was the cold and the pounding hurricane in his head. Are you alright son? Can you hear me? Say something please! Jon wanted to tell the man, the woman, or whoever it was to stop shouting. He could hear him fine. He was just not sure where the noise was coming from. Jon could not see very well. He felt sleep coming on. His pulse is weak and dropping, we may need to shock. Wipe off the blood and prep the AED. Jon could feel hands all over his body, at least three sets. Some were dragging an itchy cloth over his chest while others were putting something on his face. Suddenly he felt cold, crisp air flow into him. Finally he felt a large cold pad cover two parts of his chest. Maybe it was two different pads, he could not be sure. He is ready, charging the AED. Jon could hear the sounds of whirring and beeping and loud sirens, and his eyes were finally starting to focus. Finally Jon found the muscles to open his eyes. Only his right eye opened however. He looked around quickly as he was waiting for the blinding light to subside. He only saw one person, a girl, no older than twenty. She had raw fear in her eyes and her brow was stained with somebody’s blood. Her curly red banks kept coming over her eyes and she had to brush them away. She had beautiful blue eyes. Mustering all his remaining strength, Jon raised his right hand and wiped some blood off her freckled cheek.

“How can I hate you if I love you?”

Suddenly Jon felt a sharp seizing pain in his chest. The girl’s image started to wane until it was just a blur. We are losing him. Shock him right away. CLEAR! Jon knew his body moved, however he felt nowhere near it. CLEAR! A second jolt of electricity passed through Jon’s heart, yet the numbness was spreading. CLEAR! The fog had now completely settled over his body, all he was left with was his memories. He saw Reeda and felt the anger surge within him again. The anger was shining bright red through the dark clouds. He realized if he focused on the red, the darkness seemed to disperse. Once again he could feel his body. He knew there were hands on his chest. The hands were small and very warm. He could feel them pressing down on his chest, forcing the heart to beat. I don’t believe it, we got a pulse. It’s weak but I’ll be damned if it isn’t steady. How could she? How could she just discard me like that? And for her to enjoy it too? This is not going to settle so easily. Violently opening his right eye, Jon screamed at the top of his lungs. It was a scream of pain. It was not a roar of physical pain however. It was promising revenge and justice. And only the girl who had given CPR heard his whisper before the red clouds exploded and the darkness came again, stronger and thicker.

“It’s not over, yet.”